Take Nothing for the Journey

Scriptures

And He called the twelve to Himself, and began to send them out two by two, and gave them power over unclean spirits.  He commanded them to take nothing for the journey except a staff—no bag, no bread, no copper in their money belts—but to wear sandals, and not to put on two tunics (Mark 6:7-9)

No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier (2 Timothy 2:4).

For the last two weeks, I’ve been hardly able to do a thing. 

I haven’t been able to write for my new blog—which the Lord commanded me to use, to share a periodic Word with others, even as He works on me.  I haven’t been able to finish reediting the last novel I self-published with promised corrections. I haven't re-released the finished second edition of THE MAKEOVER because I couldn't do its new cover.  I haven’t been able to work on a freelance project I have due.  I also haven’t been able to work on my newest novel which I, for one, am anticipating—I cannot wait to see how it will turn out and how it will glorify my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Why haven’t I been able? At first, I didn’t know.  All I did know was that it felt as though the anointing just left.  I could still feel Him—which is really all I need in life, to be honest.  However, when it came to my work, it felt like the anointing all just…dried up for the last two weeks.  But, why? What did I do to offend the Lord? Was I not doing enough to promote Him, as opposed to the works about Him? Was I just too overwhelmed? Too disorganized? To distracted? Too tired? Too untalented? Too inconsistent? Too broke?

Perhaps I was doing too much!

No.  That wasn’t it. 

I was stuck.

Maybe because I was deciding between too much—

Actually more like two much…or rather, two options.

Before I take it there, let me take it back to the “too broke.”

Yes, too broke.  Too broke led to too much worry.  Too much worry led to doing too much.  Doing too much led to deciding too much.  Deciding too much led to deciding two much—as in between two paths.

Of course, all this led me back to too much worry. 

You see? It’s a cycle! 

It’s a cycle which will cause someone like me—the problem-solver—to want to run to the nearest option, or set of options, that will lead me back to calm and peaceful.

“Uh! Too broke!” 

I hate that!  To be 35…oh, wait, just had a birthday—35 plus 1, and trying to transition into a new career.  Not just any career, but one based on the whimsical opinions of others.  They like your story, they don’t like your story. It’s too long, why wasn’t it longer? It’s too preachy, man she could have done more with the Word of God!  It was realistic, no it was too worldly.  It was too expensive.  It was overdone.  It left me hanging too much…it led me to Christ.  No, it could have, but the characters and their issues distracted me from Christ.

Like I said, a very, very tough career that is based—technically—on the whimsical opinions of other people, who are just as much in need of Jesus as you are—each for their own reasons.  Some are perfectionists, some are angry, some are skeptical, some have an attitude—like me.  Some are frail, broken, prideful, lost, and some just want to lash out.  Regardless of their personal issues, these are the ones I am trying to reach and these are the ones who decide if I’ve reached them—by the grace of God.

Yep, I feel led to reach out to others, all the while being fixed myself, at the same time.  I feel led to reach out to those who have the right to determine if I have a career and ministry based on what they thought about the latest story...

And that is just the requirement of the readers!  I won’t mention the super competitive, bottom-line-only, so-called Christian editors, publishers, agents, and managers us Christian writers plead with to take a look at our evangelical work. 

"Who can compete with Karen Kingsbury and Jerry Jenkins anyway?"

All the while hoping that someone will get saved along the way--or closer to their Savior; that you will write in a way that will not leave the reader just fantasizing about meeting a guy, just like the main character, when they need to be introduced to the character of Jesus!

So to be 35 +1 and turning away from a 13-year career.  To be 35 +1 and pitching for projects, to reestablish yourself in a new place--when I’ve already dug the trenches, and built up another place, years ago! To be 35 +1, and having to count every penny I have and earn and spend when I know I spent 7 years in school, and 13 years in the marketplace, to get to a point when I should not have to do that again.  To be 35+1 and to have to watch my savings dwindle as I pour it all into bills, daily living, and the costs involved in pursuing the call/dream/vision the Lord placed into your heart?

To be 35 + 1 and still doing it without the help of a Godly husband…*ahem* yeah, later for that one—I am gonna save that one for another blog entry...

"Can we, Holy Spirit, please?I want to discuss how I still ain't got a man and I am 36 now and--"

Focus, Daughter...

Um.

Yeah…like I said, to be 35 +1 and be…too broke.

When I say "too broke" I don't even mean really broke--as in have nothing.  I mean too broke as in not used to having so much...less and really uncomfortable with what I do have...

“But why, Vacirca, would you do it this way? Why did you walk away from the job you had? If you had to walk away, to do the writing full time, why did you walk away without a Plan B for income, with only the savings you had, with only whatever the Lord provided for you to have at that time? That’s not wise, why would you do that?”

"Because God told me too."

Uh oh.

No, she did not!  I knew this chick is bananas!

Let me explain.  I am not like the folks that sell off their belongings, move to the nearest caves, and wait on the Rapture.  What I mean is that—as I’ve mentioned before—God has been allowing me to work, save money, then take time off to devote full-time attention to the writings—as I live off the savings He provides in between.  It has been this way for the past two years.  And for the past two years, I have been praying; I have been longing for the writings, themselves, to support me.  I have been praying that the writings I’ve already done would support me, as well as provide the funding for the arts and media evangelism ministry He put on my heart for the future.  However, during the last time, in November 2013, I remember wanting to leave the job and looking forward to writing full time again—even if it was for a few months to get my last novel finally completed after a year of drama.  Yet I was afraid.  I didn’t want to fail again at being successful; I didn’t want to have my time off to write, only to have to go back into the marketplace again, for another go, when the money ran out.  I also remembered some foolish choices I’d made, in the past, with the money God provided for me to take off before—can you say “spend ‘til you can’t spend no more?”

I won’t go into the days of waste.  Either by God’s will, succumbing to laziness of the flesh, or demonic opposition, there have been weeks!!!! when I could not write to save my life!

I didn’t want to misuse the gift that God was giving me--including whatever talents and the time off.  So, at the time, when I had enough savings to leave my job, I remember praying and fasting for days about whether the time was right and if it was His will for me to go.

I spent days in prayer and fasting, with my Bible open, asking the Holy Spirit for confirmation.  He confirmed my next steps with scripture—SIDE NOTE: you always, always want to confirm a Word from the Lord, regardless of its source, with scriptural confirmation, and wise counsel.  Then, just because the devil will actually use wise Christians to discourage you, you must confirm the wise counsel with more scriptural confirmation! 

So, after the confirmationS(!!!), I got really fearful.  What if I run out of money while I work towards this goal, led by God? Let’s face it, it would not be the first time God gave me a blessing, and answered prayer, only to have to watch myself completely mess it all up. Or take too long to write the thing? Or resist the hated Facebook and Twitter to market myself, in spite of what everyone keeps telling you.  Or to just feel like a failure when someone else turns down your too-long novel! What if I ruined it all again?

So, what did I decide to do?

I decided to look for another job—perhaps a more flexible one just in case…I was a clinician, after all.  Perhaps, I would stop all the nonprofit—and they mean that literally, trust me—and go into private practice for psychotherapy--where I control my own schedule.  Perhaps I could find a work from home job--performing phone assessments for suicide prevention hotlines or drug abusers referred for treatment by their boss through the EAPs.  Something flexible.

Only one problem—I just didn’t have it in me to do that.

But I did it anyway.  I began to apply for alternate positions in November.

And when I did, I felt the Lord come to me and tell me to look in Luke 9:3, back in November.  He told me to “...take nothing for the journey, neither staffs nor bag nor bread nor money; and do not have two tunics apiece."

After I read that, I was floored.  It just didn't seem wise.  After all, just because a Word is in the scriptures, does not mean the Word is for you.  God does command us to "rightly divide the Word of God" in 2 Timothy 2:15.  So, I checked, and rechecked, with Him and finally, I was led to resign and walk away.

Without a Plan B…without a certainty of what would happen this time. However, I learned that the Lord was sending out His disciples to preach the Gospel and perform His works.  He was telling them to go--just go.  He would provide what they needed along the way, as long as they obeyed His instructions.

And since then, things have been going well…except for the times...*sigh* they weren't.  But God and I, well...things were working out...that is, until three weeks ago, when I looked at my funds and realized I was running a bit lower than I anticipated. 

"Dag! I was doing a lot better with money management this time, I thought.  Haven't been out sporadically.  Haven't gotten out of budget.  Dag!" 

So I did what I always do.  I prayed.  Then I received a call to do fee-for-service mental health work again, at a nearby mental health clinic. 

"Oh, so that must mean the season to return to work has come. Durn!  Okay, then, back to that once again..."

*sigh*

Except that God also granted me a project to do from home—in the middle of my own creative writing projects—to sustain me for a while…

Until two weeks ago, when after paying the bills, I found myself right back to closing rapidly in on square one.

So here is when “too broke” led to “too much worry” and “too many decisions”—or rather, “two many decisions.”

What do I do?

Do I continue on this journey—without a plan of where I should go?  Should I get another freelance job? Should I go and do this fee-for-service therapy job? Should I do something else? Should I just say, “Enough is enough, man! I’ve tried.  I got thangs to do and can’t be worrying about cash flow! Forget writing.  It ain’t never gonna happen—just like people in my family said!”

*Sigh*

I guess Satan was lying to me.  I am going back to mental health...to obtain income to have what I need...but...oh well, let me go do my fingerprints and drug test and blah blah and take this job...*sigh* man!  

Wait!  Oh yeah!  "Thank You Jesus for whatever You provide.  You are the Provider and I appreciate You, even if I don't understand or like it.  I will do that job and...*sigh*

So I began the process.

And as for writing...

It was a wrap since then.

And for the two past weeks, as I said, I haven’t been able to do anything.

Until today.

Why today?

Because today is the day I went back on my face and told God I surrender.  I asked Him, one more time, to confirm for me.  Do I continue? If so, what will I do? Should I get another mental health job? *gag* Or should I just do more freelance?

And what does God tell me?

He leads me to Mark 6:7-9.  Where it says again, “take nothing for the journey—take nothing except a staff—no bag, no bread, no copper in their money belts—but to wear sandals, and not to put on two tunics.”

Same thing He said the first time in Luke 9…except this passage says take nothing except a staff.  It says put on sandals, and not to put on two tunics!

The first one in Luke 9:3  said nothing about taking the staff.  Nor did He highlight anything about sandals to wear.  What is the difference? I ask the Holy Spirit, “What is this staff about...the sandals...and why does He say not to put on the two tunics?”

Even though the references of Luke 9:3 and Mark 6:7 essentially say the same thing--God is sending you out, go now, and take nothing with you...there is a slight difference.  Luke tells us to take absolutely nothing.  Mark says nothing "except a staff and sandals."

What is different about Mark's scripture and what is it You want me to know? I wondered.  I finally asked the Spirit.

He led me to these answers:

As we know, in the scriptures, when the Lord refers to the “staff” or “rod”—in some places—it can mean many different things.  The rod or staff can be a tool for discipline—from which we are all instructed not to spare any disobedient children in Proverbs 13:24.    In another case, the rod or staff can refer to the tool the shepherd uses to keep his sheep in line—in other words, the staff can be viewed as the Word of God that the Shepherd—Jesus Christ—uses to keep His sheep from falling away from the path He has for them; knowing that God uses His “staff” to keep His sheep in line can be a great source of comfort to us—as David said in Psalm 23:4—“thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.”  

The rod can also represent the very tool that will be utilized to be a vehicle of God’s supernatural power and provision—as we saw when the Lord God commanded Moses to use his rod or “staff” that was already in his hand in Exodus 4:2 to perform the miracles for Pharoah until Moses completed his mission to help the Israelites obtain freedom.

Regardless of the various ways the “staff” has been represented in the Word, it all symbolizes the same thing—a total dependence on God for everything we need.  Whether it is that we need discipline; whether we need the Word to keep us from falling out of line; whether we need the power of God’s supernatural provisions—the Lord is telling me to take nothing for the journey except a staff.  In my case, what He is teaching me, in His Word, is used to keep me in line with His will for my life.  Also in my case, the staff is whatever supernatural provisions, from the Holy Spirit, that He chooses to use to do His will in me, and in my work--like that freelance gig I testified about miraculously showing up.  It is also the same staff He'll use to beat my behind if I need it.

When I left the job before, He told me to leave with nothing--in Luke 9:3. That was a time for me to leave in obedience and trust.  I had the scripture to confirm, and the plan in my heart--nothing more. It was a time to be tested to see if I would obey God even if it meant leaving without anything except trust in His Word.  Period.

Now, the scripture was given again--except now with a staff, sandals, and tunic.  

Basically, He reminded me that if I continue to obey that same Word He gave me the first time, He would provide what I need, when I need it, and how I need it.  And He can/will provide more.  Regardless of the specific details of what I need—as long as I continue to look to Him and obey Him, He will provide all that I need with His staff.

Of course, I felt renewed, as He reconfirmed what He’d told me a few months back--but with more.  I felt like He was reminding me to trust Him not only to bring the vision to pass—but for the provisions, resources, support, and readers needed along the way.

But what about the sandals in this scripture?  And the tunic?  I will get to that...

Of course, I had to ask one more question.  “What is it that I was doing wrong? What would You have me do instead, Lord?”

Basically, He knew—like I knew—that I was asking Him two things: why did I feel so stuck lately? And, by the way, why does He want me to take this journey in this scary way?

The Holy Spirit led me to another series of Scriptures.  However, the last one He impressed upon me began from 2 Timothy 2:4.  He says, “No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier."

God is reminding me that I told Him I would fight—to win souls for His Kingdom, using the gifts and talents He gave me.  I had given back to Him the writing, the counseling abilities, the intercessions, the "whatevers" He’s ever given me for His use.  And I no longer needed to be focused on entangling myself with civilian—or worldly—ways to be used to do His will.  I did not need to focus on, or rely upon, worldly provisions.  God would supply.  Don’t get me wrong—God may decide to supply money or a certain kind of work to earn money.  God may show up with a publishing contract—the prayer answered for my work to provide the money for itself! 

What He is reminding me is that I do not have to look to the world and   entangle myself in things He does not put me into or require me to do.  He will provide all that I need in His way.  It could be like one of those testimonies where He gives me the perfect paying job that allows me to write.  He could make it that my writing becomes my paying job.  He may send me a check through a donor.  I don’t know the what, but He reminded me that I do know the Him!

"But what does that have to do with the sandals and tunics?"

Well, the sandals in this Scripture was in line with the fact that I would be walking--but in a way I've never walked before.  Meaning, although in the past two years I've taken this journey by working-saving-quitting-working-saving-quitting, the Lord was going to do something new in the I walk on the path of this journey.  God also reminded me of the other places He mentions we need to put on our shoes.  In Ephesians 6--in the Chapter about engaging in spiritual warefare, we are told in verse 15 to use our spiritual shoes; it is written,  "...and having shod your feet (fitted your feet) with the preparation of the gospel of peace."  Not only will I walk in a way I've never walked, but I ought to walk in the Gospel of Peace, and be prepared to share it as I go.

And as for the two tunics--well, it falls in line with the scripture He gave in 2 Timothy 2:4.  God is telling me that I cannot wear two tunics--meaning be clothed with the ways of this world and be clothed with with ways of God.  At this point in my walk--my journey--I must wear one tunic--either one or the other.  Since I have accepted Christ and He lives in me, I no longer can wear the old tunic.  He led me to Isaiah 61:10, where it is written, "My soul shall be joyful in my God; For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness..."

The tunic I wear...the garments I wear, the robe I wear...must now be of those of my salvation and righteousness.  God is telling me I need to wear a new tunic--and more importantly, find a new way of doing things.  I am being told to take off that first tunic and wear the new one because that first tunic belonged to my old self and my old way of doing things.  As it says in Ephesians 4:22-24, "that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness."  

Most importantly, I need to do what a righteous person does--walk in the new places He leads me, put off my old tunic (my old way of thinking and living) and trust Him.  As it says of the righteous man, in Matthew 6:31-33, "Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

As long as I am in Christ, I am declared righteous in Christ.  All of these promises in the Word belong to the righteous in Christ!  The righteous may get nervous, but we must learn to trust the Lord.

So I wanted to share this Word.  I know it is confirmed, because as soon as I allowed the Holy Spirit to remind me of this again--even while teaching me something new from it-- I felt the urge the write and share it with others.

For the first time in two weeks!

I am to remind myself, and to share this with you all:  Many of us are called to do things that seem impossible.  For me—it is to start a new career as a writer, and to build an arts and media ministry that will put forth projects (for both entertainment and information) to glorify the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  For others, it is to join the mission field.  For still others, it is to begin evangelizing the Word right in your neighborhood—the very same neighborhood where you’ve never exchanged as much as a “Hey!” with your snotty neighbors.

And in many cases, God will tell you to leave something behind—and to not only leave things behind, but rather, to take nothing with you along the way.

Some of you may be called to leave a job—like I did.  Others may be called to leave a location, or a home, in which you’ve grown comfortable.  For others it may be a relationship—been there too (and no, I do NOT mean your marriage)! 

Regardless, when God tells you to go—just go.

And when God says take nothing with you…don’t.

And don’t go trying to find something to replace the stuff you left behind—like I did in my own strength.  When God says take nothing, He means take nothing.  God desires to be glorified...do NOT stand in the way of God bring glory to His own Name through your issue.  Just let Him.  To go even further, there are times God will not just say take nothing with you.  There are times He will say leave nothing--meaning kill everything--from birth (or from the root).  When He tells us to kill everything-including the women and infant (or something from the root)—kill them.  I am not telling anyone to murder, or take a life literally, but remember that God is so serious when He tells us to kill.  After all, He did tell the Israelites to kill everything of Amalek in 1 Samuel 15:3.  If God means for you to kill perhaps a friendship or relationship…to kill a dream or idea; to kill a business, to kill an intention—right down to its roots. Do it.

If you want to know the consequences of not doing it--feel free to check out 1 Samuel 15! 

As God reminded me, if we obey Him, we will be crowned in His glory.  God promises that we will bear fruit and we will be the first to partake of the crops.  As it is written in 2 Timothy 2:5-6, “And also if anyone competes in athletics, he is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules.  The hardworking farmer must be first to partake of the crops.”

I don’t know how it is going to look tomorrow.  I don’t know how God is planning to meet my needs.  I don’t know what the end will be.  But He does.  And I am not saying I am not fearful at times; I won’t lie and say I won’t choose what seems easiest and fastest.  Nor will I act as though I have it all together and won't mess it up again—only to have to be brought back to the Throne of Grace again on my face in repentance.  What I am saying is that I will continue to work at surrendering and doing whatever it is, whenever it is, God’s way.

And if I have nothing for the journey, I know God will make a way because everything belongs to Him anyway.

Prayer for Today:

Father God, in Jesus’ Name, I come before You, thanking You for Your love, kindness, and daily provisions.  I thank You that because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the Cross, we can believe our prayers are heard and answered if they are according to Your will.  I thank You that the Holy Spirit lives in us, and leads us, for Your glory.  Please forgive me for times I’ve succumbed to doubt, unbelief, and a desire to do what is comfortable—which is to do it my way.  Please forgive me for doubting after everything You’ve already taught me, and already done with and through me, in Christ.  I ask for You to order my every step.  Let me not go right nor left.  Let me not cower in fear, or take matters, I’ve already surrendered, back into my own hands.  Let me not make impulsive or rebellious decisions in unbelief or fear.  Let me not turn back from that which You’ve delivered me.  I ask for You to clarify and confirm the vision and purpose for Your perfect will for my life.  I ask for You to confirm each step I must take for Your purpose for my life—starting with the very next step.  I ask for you to do what Your Word says and equip me for every good work.  I ask for you to provide all that I need—finances, resources, support from others, as well as Your hand of protection against any demonic attack or opposition.  I ask You to keep my flesh from rising and help me to walk in the Spirit.  Most of all, help me to rely on your staff—whatever way You choose to provide it.  Please lead me on this journey and be glorified in the process and in the completion.  Along the way, please keep me from being a burden on others.  Provide directly from Your riches in glory in Christ Jesus.  I thank You, Lord.  In Jesus’ Name, I pray.  Amen.